No one prepares you for the day your father forgets which side the shirt sleeve goes on.
How to help him wear pants, or gently convince him to switch to shorts because the stiffness is too much now.
No one teaches you how to shave his face every Sunday.
Or how to sit next to him in the salon chair and explain what kind of haircut he used to like—because he can’t say it anymore.
Or that you’ll one day buy costly slip-on shoes not for style, but because his hands can’t tie laces anymore.
And no one—literally no one—teaches a daughter how to carry the weight of masculinity that was never meant to be hers.
Because she was raised to nurture, not to lift.
To feel, not to fix.
To care, not to command.
From “Laadli” to “Beta Jaisi Hai”
In India, when a daughter becomes emotionally strong and starts carrying the duties of a man, people say,
"Tu toh beta ban gayi hai."
But no one says:
"Beti ban’ne ki training toh mili thi,
par beta ban’ne ka bojh kaise uthaye, yeh kisne sikhaya?"
She was taught how to earn and invest money, not calculate and manage money alongside bills
She was taught how to dress well, not how to dress a paralyzed father.
She was taught how to love… not how to carry a whole family on her back without breaking.
She Takes Care of Her Father… But Who’s Taking Care of Her?
Now she:
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Buys his shirts and struggles to put his arm through a stiff sleeve
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Manages his medicines and learns doctor-language she never studied
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Lifts him from bed to wheelchair with trembling arms and silent fear
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Sleeps alert, half-dreaming, half-listening, waking up to check if he’s okay every few hours
And while the world sees her as “strong”…
her own life quietly pauses.
She doesn’t plan trips.
She doesn’t commit to relationships.
She doesn’t say yes to job opportunities far from home.
Not because she’s unsure—
but because of one constant thought:
“What if something happens to Papa when I’m not there?”
What Society Forgot to Teach Our Men
From childhood, boys are told:
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Be strong
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Stay quiet
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Be in control
They grow up watching fathers as commanders, not comforters.
They see their mothers as managers, not humans.
And without even realizing it, they become the same men—capable, but emotionally disconnected.
They’re taught to show up with answers, not affection.
They know how to protect, but not how to nurture.
They can carry weight, but not warmth.
But Who Teaches Men to Step Into a Woman’s Role?
This is the part we never ask loud enough:
Why are daughters expected to step into fathers’ shoes without training, but sons are never taught how to step into their mother’s?
Why do wives become invisible caretakers, yet husbands rarely understand the mental and emotional labor behind every meal, every moment?
“Beti ko beta banana aata hai sabko…
par beta ko maa ban’na kab sikhaya?”
Is a son ever taught how to express affection without treating it like duty?
To understand a woman beyond his expectations of her roles—bahu, maa, caretaker?
To sense her hormonal shifts, emotional exhaustion, and still stand beside her, not above her?
Most haven’t been.
And that’s the problem.
The Cost of Hyper-Masculinity
What we see as “strong men” are often men in emotional isolation.
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They feel, but don’t express.
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They ache, but don’t ask.
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They age, but don’t accept.
And when illness or aging strips them of control, they become terrified—
of being seen as weak,
of needing help,
of realizing they never learned how to be soft.
Because they were never shown that softness can be sacred too.
They were told to grow up, but not to open up.
Told to provide, but not to feel.
Told to be the rock, but never the river.
For Every Daughter Who Became Everything
To the father who is fading:
You are still worthy—even when you are weak.
You are still loved—even when you can’t speak.
To the daughter:
Your strength is not just admirable.
It is revolutionary.
But remember:
You don’t have to be everything, all the time.
Even soldiers take off their armor.
And to the World…
Real strength is not just about enduring.
It’s about embracing.
And real men, real fathers, real humans—
feel. speak. soften.
This Father’s Day…
Let’s appreciate our daughters to carry masculine burdens, even in being in role of a mother, wife and daughter in law.
Let's start raising sons who honor emotions, embrace softness, and understand the silent strength behind care.
Let’s raise a world where love isn’t gendered, and care isn’t one-sided. Daughter and sons finally learn what it means to love… like a human.
